i don’t know how not to. my feelings always come secondary to everyone else’s. and if i try to tell anyone that i feel less important and that my feelings always come last, they make it all about them and then i feel selfish for wanting anything to be about me for once. i have to lie and lie and lie and lie every time someone asks if i’m okay cause no one actually cares. they just want to tell me how they’re feeling. or they come to me when they’re sad and never ask how i’m doing. always changing the subject if i show any negative emotion at all.

i just want to be sad without feeling guilty or having to shove my emotions down so i can help other people. i want to scream at them that i matter. i want to cry and sob without hiding it or feeling guilty. i can’t stand being invisible anymore. i just want one person to see me as me and not a therapist or a toy.