So my DH and I waited until later in life to start a family due to money, career, etc. Once we were married for a little while and felt confident/prepared enough to actually start trying, we naively thought it would take maybe 6 months max. It’s now been a year and every month it gets more and more difficult. He’s never had a high sex drive like I do and about a 8yrs older. TTC is difficult enough but I feel like I have to pull out all the works every month during my FW to try and make it as easy for him as possible. However, more than half the times, he gets performance anxiety cause obvi we both know what the end goal is and then I’m just laying there thinking (excuse my bluntness) “well no f’in surprise I get a negative pregnancy test every month cause our chances are cut to half cause he can’t perform!”

Now hear me out - it’s totally understandable that it’s stressful on a guy and normal. I’ve been super patient and understanding about that BUT with each month that passes and each test that results in a negative, he starts this whole “self-pity” thing where somehow it’s also my job to make him feel better about the situation as if he’s the only one who’s disappointed and sad. Like I have to do all the work in the bedroom and then comfort you when you can’t do the one thing needed after and then on top of all that have to hear how sad you are that you’re not a father yet???? Are you f’in kidding me? But whenever I bring up or discuss how I feel, it’s like no biggy case I’m the female who would carry the child so it’s expected? Like wtf! Honestly, the best way I can describe it is as if I was partnered with him for a class project and did all the work and the one tiny thing he was supposed to do, he did a half ass job and because of it, we didn’t get a good score on the assignment but instead of taking accountability, he complains that we should’ve gotten a higher score as if there were anything more I could do! Yes - I’m now venting... going through this for over a year is exhausting and I don’t even know if I can deal with his attitude anymore. I always feel like I’m pulling 95% of the weight and the second he gets a fraction of the work, he’s ready to jump to <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> as if it’s cheap and easy on my body. Is it just me who is dealing with this??? I certainly don’t get excited to have sex with him anymore either so it’s like what’s the point? As much as we both want a kid, I’m so over ttc on my own - emotionally and basically physically.