Comfortable but not connected


I've been a relationship with my fiance for 7 years..though we have known each other for 17 ..we have been there through each other's traumatic divorces..when I say traumatic ..I mean my ex went to prison for 21 years and his ex is mentally ill to the point of institutionalized we ended up getting together 3 years after both our marriages imploded...we needed each other ..he had 8 kids and I had 4 we have one together.. He is 16 years older than me ..we are comfortable and our lives are so very intertwined ..I don't even think we could untangle them but I feel like he has very little understanding of me and my thoughts..I know he loves me but he has a way of making me feel two inches tall when I express my hurt feelings..where I'm sure anyone else would understand where I'm coming from... Its hard bc he refuses to even try to come down to my level so to speak so the issues are unresolved for me unless I personally resolve them myself ..which often comes in the form of readjusting myself so that I can live unburdened by things I don't receive from him..I can live that way and have been but... Is comfortable enough?I'm not even sure what my question is to you guys ..what are your thoughts?