The truth..

Honestly guys this has been the worst pregnancy I ever had.. and it’s only the first. The way my baby daddy makes me feel makes me wish I was never even pregnant.. I never felt more worthless and depressed than I do now within these last 6 months. And knowing that I have my son inside me and feeling him move and kick is the only thing saving me.. knowing that he loves me just as much as I love him.. knowing that I’m his mommy just brings me so much happiness and light through this darkness.. I keep praying that everything gets better but it doesn’t seem like it will be. And at the rate it’s going I don’t even think I want him at the birth. I feel terrible for thinking like that but I don’t want my son to see or hear anything that he doesn’t need to. I don’t want someone that just can disrespect me and hurt me as much as he has while I’m pregnant with his child to even be close to my baby.. I feel like he doesn’t care about neither one of us.. and it breaks my heart but I don’t want my son heart to be broken either because of his daddy decisions.. but that’s it guys I just needed to vent somewhere that no one knows me or can really judge me ..