Orgasm help

Okay I always feel like I’m about to orgasm like super tense but never that release of the tension you know. Whether I use a vibrator or my husband is going down on me I always feel like this build up of pressure and then all of a sudden I’m too sensitive to go anymore and don’t get that like release. I’ve tried just to push through it but it hurts. I’ve tried like the method of like holding my breath and also controlling my breath but Idk if that even helps me. I try not to get to focused on it bc I know that affects it but when I start to feel like I’m getting to that point I get excited that it’s gonna be it.