My husband and I have 4 kids, all under 6 including 1 year old twins. We’ve been married 7 years.

I’m a SAHM but I run a side business which gives us some income and with the pandemic I’ve also been homeschooling our two oldest kids. My husband works full time at a job he loves but he does absolutely nothing to help me when he’s home. In recent years he has changed. He doesn’t clean up after himself EVER. He literally throws his trash on the floor for me to pick up but when I catch him doing it he says he’ll pick it up later. He takes off his clothes and throws them all over the house (I mean THROWS them so they will land behind furniture) then gets mad at me when I don’t find every single item in order to do all of his laundry for work because I do that too. I also cook all meals and parent our kids ( which he doesn’t do) because he very clearly has no patience. He will interact with our kids at most 30 minutes a day and they aren’t huge fans of him honestly. They never seek him out for comfort. Our 1 year old twins have absolutely no attachment to him and don’t even like when he picks them up.

He goes out with his friends most every weekend all weekend, leaving in the morning and coming home late. They work on carpentry together and sometimes sell what they have built but it’s for a minimal amount. Because he sometimes sells the things he makes he thinks I can’t be mad that he’s never home because he’s “making money”.

On Friday I came down with food poisoning. I have been SO sick but have no choice but to still get up and homeschool my kids and work on my business because I have no familial support in this state. I made dinners as normal and did laundry. Even seeing how sick I was he still threw trash everywhere, made sandwiches and left all of the ingredients out on the counter and threw his clothes everywhere. He left with his friend yesterday all day while I was still sick. Didn’t care. Then came home and made me make him dinner even thought the smell of it made me wretch. This morning I woke up early, and felt a bit better but have been really tired and have zero energy. He told me to make him breakfast which I did and served to him on the couch. He told me he had an argument with his friend yesterday (he said his friend was dumb, pissed him off and couldn’t argue with him “worth a shit”) so he wouldn’t be going over there today and wanted us to go do something as a family. I told him I appreciated the gesture and would love to but I was just too tired to get all the kids ready and take them out for the day today (doing all of that is always up to me) but I would be happy to do it next weekend instead. Instead of sympathizing with me he goes and sulks in the living room. I go put the babies down for their nap and come back in the living room and he’s lying on the love sac obviously mad so I question him on it. He says “it’s fine, it doesn’t matter”. So I ask him if he’s sure and he said yes there’s nothing wrong but rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. I then got upset because I always do so many nice things for him and it’s never reciprocated so I said “I don’t know why I bother”. He then SCREAMED at me and said “there’s nothing wrong, just leave me the hell alone”. He’s now pretending he’s sleeping in our living room, watching me clean around him while taking care of 4 kids alone.

Am I wrong here?