So Sunday last week, I opened my Facebook and a friend request from my friends brother. I don’t get why he requested to follow me after what happened almost 2 years ago, (We slept together, I felt guilty and told my friend, she didn’t wanna be my friends. Then she decided to become friends with me again after she forgave us) he also has a girlfriend.

I told my other friend and he said not to tell her and to delete it as it will bring all that up from the past. I deleted it.

But it bugged me and brought up memories from last year and it got me to think about what happened last year, I realised my friend has her own agenda about this situation but was also looking out for me. I lied to her about why I was seeing him, I liked him (which is the real reason) from the 3 months we spent together.

Few things I don’t say, because she’d be like “where’s this coming from” and among other things. I feel lonely in my friend group,I feel like my friends take me for granted. I’ve been told to get new friends. So for the fact her brother was arranging meetings and stuff to do, made me feel like I was important and seen, he wanted to voluntarily see me and I didn’t have to arrange it. This is because ’m always arranging things with my friends.

So my friend said I couldn’t date him because he’s a womaniser and he’d hurt and if I did date him she couldn’t be friends with me because I’m dating him. She’s also went mad at him for saying he fancied me and wanted to pursue a relationship with me.

Also right now I don’t need people to make me happy but back then I felt seen and important because someone wanted to spend time with me and I didn’t have organise it or reach out to make plans.

He made not good choices which don’t benefit him in the long run. He’s womaniser, ladies man. So I’m stuck. I also feel and this sounds crazy but I feel my friend might have asked him to follow me to see my loyalty.

This bugged me as I moved on.

This was eating at me and I wanted to post, just to let off steam. I felt I couldn’t talk about it unless it important, only one friend spoke to me.

I apologise for the long paragraph, I prefer no negative or hateful comments or condescending comments please or rude comments.