Teenage trauma

When I was 13-17 yrs old I went through heavy trauma/abuse. I don’t want to talk about it or get into detail but back then (at least I didn’t notice) I pushed it all under a rug, ignored it, didn’t let it phase me, Didn’t tell anyone, or did anything to stop it. All i know is that i never wanted to be home. I avoided home as much as possible..... anyways, now that my older I came to realize what I went through is horrific. Now that i am an adult it has traumatized me. And it haunts me. Anyone else experience this? I need help. I feel soooo mentally and spiritually messed up.