How to teach this to my son?

Question

At what age did you all talk to your children about not letting people touch them inappropriately, and what are some tips and advice you could give me on this subject. My son is only 2, but he understand things really well for his age, he knows what all of his body parts are. I’m just not sure how late or how soon I should address this issue. With the world the way it is I feel like I gotta try and make him understand so young. 😞

Answer

My son is 3.5 & I’ve been more so just telling him about consent. Like if someone asks for a hug & he says no, I say that’s okay you don’t have to hug them. Or if we’re playing or tickling or whatever & he says stop, I say okay you said stop, that’s enough. He knows his body parts too. He likes to be naked a lot, which idc if it’s only us home, but if someone other than me or his dad are coming home I say okay you have to put pants on so&so is coming over & your peepee is only for (his name) to see. 
I’m like you though, idk if I’m doing enough or how to really go into depth about inappropriate touching. It’s sucks that this is something we have to teach our kids but there are sick people out there.

Answer

My son is 4. It was just a conversation that I would have with him on and off since he was old enough to know what his penis is. We talked about our bodies and that no one other than mommy and daddy should be touching or looking at him when we dress, bathe, or help him with the potty. He gets it and even gave the pediatrician a hard time about checking him out at his appointment. I forgot to discuss how a doctor is also a safe person when he has an appointment haha. But he knows we don’t touch or look at other people’s private areas as well. We also have always used the correct terms for everything.

Answer

At that age I started with knowing body parts, teaching that clothes need to be on in front of people (other than mom/dad), not changing clothes or bathing in front of people, changing diapers away from people/not going to the bathroom (after potty training) in front of people, teaching consent for hugs and kisses and letting my daughter always say no if she doesn’t want to say hi or get hugs from anyone (including us). Now that she is 3 we have conversations about giving and getting privacy and not touching other people’s private areas and vise versa. I think every year of age comes with more talks as much as can be understood. My daughter is never away from us really but we still make sure she understands all those basic concepts and will continue to teach more as she understands.

Answer

Around then I would just tell her that noone else helps us dress or go potty because our privates are ours. Then I would just keep reminding her as she got bigger. Now that she's five she knows that noone should touch her in any kind of way

Answer

I’ve always talked about it. Mention it every once and awhile or when it seems like a good time to talk about it. There is no too early

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When I taught second grade we had a counselor come in through our district and do a class on safety. In that class we discussed different types of touching. We taught about safe and unsafe as well as unwanted touching. Hitting is unsafe and unwanted. A high five from a friend can be a safe but unwanted touch. A parent touching a baby to change their diaper is safe. An adult roughly grabbing a child out of the way of car is safe even though it might be scary or hurt. When they are able to understand examples that can really help. So can having consistent language and naming touches. My daughter is 2.5. When we see family or friends (hopefully one day) and she greets them or when we leave was always ask her HOW she wants to say goodbye or give love (depends on the relationship). It might be a “thank you,” a hug, a handshake,  a wave, a kiss, a high-five, or a smile. She is control of her body. The only time she doesn’t get to refuse a touch is when she is getting cleaned or at the doctor but still we are clear about why and explain things. Another thing we do is speak about how she is touching others and respecting when others say no. Consent goes both ways. She is just potty trained and is already wanting privacy in the bathroom. She still showers with my husband or I but when she stops asking to shower with us we will stop.

Answer

Now! Only he or mommy or daddy can touch his private parts.

Answer

We started since my daughter is 18 months. I was sexually abused at 4-13 years old. I hid it from my family so well and lied as early as 4. Children are very very smart and capable of doing the impossible. So we have been teaching my daughter all of her body parts with the correct names. So she knows her vagina and butt etc. We tell her everyday when we are bathing her that only mommy and daddy are allowed to touch her there to wash her and wipe her, no one else. And we’re potty training and even before when she was in diapers we told her, I’m gonna wipe your butt and vagina now and only mommy and daddy do this. When she goes to my parents my mom will usually be the one to change her/wipe her or bathe her. If my dad has to he tells her, grandpa is going to change your diaper so I’m going to wipe now, but he feels uncomfortable because of what happened to me, so he usually has my mom do it. It’s only if she can’t then he will. If she poops he usually will just rinse the baby off. We all are very open about it and I like it that way. My husband understands my fear of something terrible happening so he’s made it a point to be supportive and make it comfortable for us to all talk about. We want our daughter to be safe and if someone ever tries to come close to that area she’ll know that they have no reason and can come to us and let us know. So hopefully we’re doing the right thing as parents to ensure our daughters safety

Answer

My son is 3 and I literally started yesterday,  I was giving him a shower and explained to him that only daddy and mommy can touch his weewe (what he calls it) in the shower to wash it. That Noone else can touch it at all,  not grandma or grandpa or cousins or strangers. He understood and I'll keep repeating it for a while

Answer

My advice would be to talk about "his bathing suit area" and talk about how only certain people can touch him there (only mom and dad or if you have a potty accident at school etc). I'd also give him language he can use to express if he's uncomfortable...kids that age can start to grasp a "personal bubble" concept. 
Whatever language you use should be part of everyday language so it's normalized but definitely should have a conversation by the time they're 5/in kindergarten, IMO.

How to teach this to my son?

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