I feel so alone

My husband lied about texting and meeting up with a woman I asked him to stop seeing.

We are trying to work through it. He has sincerely apologied and willing to work on anything I want and need to make us work.

I've past the anger stage (mostly)

But now i feel so alone.

1 friend couple know (I kicked him out, he stayed there ) but I have to keep a brave face for everyone else and that super sucks. I don't need to drag anyone else into this awkward shitfest.

All the guides say to move forward "my needs should guide him" but I don't even know what the hell my needs are.

Normally he would be the one I go to for comfort and support, but that's not possible. So I'm laying here crying, not knowing what my next step needs to be.

We both really want us to work through this for ourselves, our marriage and our son.

Part of me wants to forget it, go back to normal. But that's not fair for me because it will eat me up (and not enough punishment for him)

How do I move to a level where I can completely forgive him?

I don't want to be bitter and bring it up in a year or 2 time. I want to work, but I don't know how to do it.