Always missing my baby

There are days I miss my baby so much I don't know how to find positive in life. I was 21 weeks with my 4th pregnancy I previously lost the first 3. I had never made it that far. This was it our take home baby. Then it happened. I went into labor and lost my baby. It's been a year now and am still hurting. I'm not happy at work and want a change in my life but how do you leave normal and familiar? I just miss my baby and the life we we're suppose to have.