What should I have done?

I've been struggling with weight my entire life. If there is one thing I want is to be at a healthy weight and lead a healthy lifestyle. I just love eating clean and exercising and that matters to me the most. I love who I am when I live that active lifestyle. I've been fat most of my life, finally lost the weight after a big change in my lifestyle and I was loving my life.

I then met my boyfriend who was the same. He was into the gym as much as I was, into eating clean as much as I was. It was great. But then he got too busy with work and decided he no longer likes going to the gym and eating clean. So instead he started to drag me down. I don't believe he ever did it on purpose, but he was completely messing with my routine. I wish he were more thoughtful. Like I would like to go to the gym, but he would insist on going out to dinner instead. Little things. I managed well for 3 years, because I would adapt, however hard it was on me. I was happy.

But then the pandemic happened. I lost my job, and gyms closed. I got depressed and started eating with him. Every time he would buy himself junkfood he bought it for me too, and we ate together. He would buy snacks and we would eat those together too. In no time, I gained over 40 pounds.

I would try so hard to lose that weight, but he made it impossible for me. Like he would buy me a burger and when I decline he would start eating his saying mmm, this is good etc etc. Comment how I'm missing out. Completely the opposite of supportive.

Question story:

Last week I finally got the courage to start eating clean. It's been so hard on me. I was finally starting to feel good again as I was adjusting back to my old diet (I love how good I feel when I eat clean - no matter the weight). Today he cooked me breakfast. You could see he put a lot of effort into cooking it. Only problem is that the food was completely against my diet. Let's just say he made waffles with whipped cream and syrup and fruit. He made me a coffe with cream and sugar (I always drink it black). I was angry.

I started saying how I wish he were more supportive and how he always ruins my progress. Like no matter how hard I try, he'll find a way to mess it up for me. He got angry saying how I'm ungrateful. I ended up apologizing and ate the damn waffles with a smile. I feel sick now. My stomach hurts. He completely messed up my diet and my progress.

I feel like if I want to stay in this relationship i'll have to adjust and say goodbye to the one thing I love most in the world - being healthy. But in doing so I'll resent him. So I'm thinking of breaking up with him. I've been doing this his way for the longest time and it's been taking a toll on my mental health. I miss being active. So now I'm thinking of breaking up with him and on top of my weight gain I am feeling so bad and lost and broken.

We've been together for 4 years now. And I do love him and the life we've built for ourselves.

I am so lost.