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My boyfriend and I have lost the heat and passion in the bed, partly because I know I’m not good so I lost confidence. And I just learned apparently he faked liking some things when we first started dating, because we had just started dating, and he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. And I guess the butterflies of still being new still made him enjoy it. But so then now I’m so hesitant in having sex as I am self conscious and all I can think about is well does he like it? Does he not? Is this okay? Is this not? And then that makes me perform even worse because I am distracted.

We recently had a talk where he said that he was sexually frustrated. And that if this was going to be a normal thing, where we have sex once every few months he’s not sure that he’ll be able to do this. He’s understanding for now because he knows that I’m going through stuff, but that if this is going to be our new normal we might not be right for each other. He also said something about how me not wanting to have sex with him makes him feel like he’s not sexy.

I get horny almost every day so I dont want this to be our new normal! I just lost confidence and I dont know how to get it back. I also dont know how to be sexy and sensual. When we first started dating we’d have sex in the living room,on the floor, in the kitchen but his 12 year old son now lives with us so we can’t quite do stuff like that. And having sex in the kitchen is as far as I know for heating up our sex lives lol.

So how can I regain my confidence in bed? Aside from confidence (let’s assume I do have confidence) how can I be sexy and sensual?

*p.s. I’m 23 and he’s 35, I’m inexperienced he is experience, and we’ve now been dating for a year and a half*