Crazy depression, to those who might be struggling like me, I just need to vent.

So I've been try for baby # 1 for almost over 3 years. I kind of gave up about a year ago. I stopped tracking my ovulation with tests, I have tried every fertility booster vitamin there is I stopped taking them, I stopped timing sex. Me and my husband are usually very active with that anyway so I do take a pregnancy test every now and then just to be safe before drinking or anything. There's a Christmas party this Saturday with some friends that I haven't seen in a year and of course there will be drinking. I'm the type of girl that just likes to enjoy a glass or 2 of wine every now and then but these past 3 weeks have been horrible, me and my husband are constantly arguing, I'm stressed to the max and I just want to drown it all out with a entire bottle!! I took a first response test today & boom a very faint line, and I'm setting there thinking (here we go again) I've had these before, I get my hopes up, I get excited. That horrible faint line that no body can see but you no matter how good of a pic you try to take lol I don't think it's anything but another heartbreak,I refuse to get my hopes up, but I don't want to take the risk and drink anything Saturday.

This is just my luck......