Mother/Daughter Relationship

My mom and I don’t have a great relationship. My parents are alcoholics and have been their whole lives. They’re very high functioning and most people don’t realize they are actually alcoholics, but it’s had a huge impact on my life, it’s made me who I am, good and bad.

I’m 30 years old and 9 weeks pregnant with my first. First grandchild for them. They adore my husband and they’re happy for us, but I guess I’m just sad that I will never have that close loving mother/daughter relationship with my mom.

I’m very independent because of my upbringing, but it sucks to not have your mom really show interest in your pregnancy. She never asks how I’m doing or how I’m feeling, doesn’t ask questions or get excited about the future, just when I’m going to start telling the rest of the family so she can talk to them about it 🙄 making it about her. I shouldn’t be surprised since it’s always been this way, but I’m more nervous if we do have a girl how will I have the relationship with her that I’ve always wanted? I never had a good model of what a healthy loving mother/daughter relationship should look like.

I know I’m not the only one going through this. How are others grieving their non-existing relationship with their mom and/or planning to have an amazing relationship with their future daughter?