Not a co sleeping mama

I’ve always had trouble sleeping. I needed pills for years to sleep. I’m so exhausted from being a mother now that I don’t need any help from pills.

I never co slept with my son who is 2 now because I always feared I’d smother him. It feels funny to think that in retrospect but it was always my fear.

I’m due with my second baby boy on June 26 and as I sit here on my rocking chair watching my son doze off to sleep I wish I had had the courage to co sleep with him.

I say courage because I did suffer from postpartum anxiety and I just couldn’t sleep with our son in the bed out of fear of rolling on him, or having him suffocate etc.

I wish I had co slept with him and I wish I could do it now. We tried about 3-4 months ago when he transitioned into his toddler bed. We failed. We couldn’t sleep with each other. My husband, son and I just didn’t know how to share the bed lol

I regret not doing it sooner but I also am glad for all the sleep I’ve gotten these past two years that have helped me be rested enough to give him my full attention at all times.

Anyway, I just want to say that I envy the co sleeping mamas 🙂 and I wish I had been able to. Because I just want more time being close to him before he grows up. It’s going too fast. ♥️