Venting 😭 long post

I'm so stressed lately. I'm now 11 weeks pregnant and I'm just tired all the time. I thought cutting down breastfeeding Ivy would help - but thats just completely disrupted her sleep routine. She will skip naps and wake up 5 hours after bedtime and be ready for the day, or she skips naps and will fall asleep around 6pm and by then her bedtime is in 2 hours... so... we either let her sleep (where she'll again wake up at around midnight fully awake) or we wake her up... in which case even a 15 min nap leads to her being wide awake for several hours after bedtime. Lately she can stay awake a full 14+ hours and be still running around the livingroom. Instead of napping we've been doing "quiet time" where we sit in her room and she plays with her soft toys or lies in bed, which calms her down so she's at least not cranky and grumpy. But still one of us has to sit with her and the other person is usually at work. [Not looking for advice on this. Once she gets use to not getting boobie I'm sure it will calm down. Just giving some background]

Its hard to manage, but its even harder because we both work 12 hour shifts. I work 3 days, partner works 3 days, then we have 1 day off together where we have to get EVERYTHING done we couldn't really get done with Ivy around. Its exhausting. Ever since she had a baby (same age as Ivy), the landlady has been constantly stressing us out. Nothing is good enough for her. She gave us 6 months notice that she was going to up the rent (on my birthday. Which is weird because its on the 22nd. We pay rent on the 4th of every month?). We tried to find another house in that time because we are paying WAY over what other people pay in rent. But its just been impossible with covid. Plus any money we do scrape together we end up spending. She wanted us to spend £300 on gardening services because our garden was "a mess" (I admit, we don't have much time and neither of us know how to garden so its mostly guess work), we find a cheaper service. She comes back the next month and flips out that the garden isn't to her specifications. Shes decided the hedges need to be in line with the fence and our gardener "hacked the hedges". We pay for another gardener, and he refuses to take the money from us because (in his words) "there's almost nothing at all to do. The garden was perfectly fine before". When the garden was finally to her specifications, she started moaning that we needed to strip the patio and put a membrane under it because of the constant weeds (that had been cropping up since we moved in 4 years ago and we've always kept track of because our dog will eat them and be sick otherwise). The livingroom carpet has stunk of cat urine in summer the whole time we lived here and we have complained multiple times and paid for it to be professionally cleaned. Recently shes started to suggest we when we move out we will have to buy her a new carpet because its coming up at the sides near the door and freying. Yet Ivys carpet has had a hole in it since we moved in and we aren't allowed to replace it. Wouldn't surprise me if she tells me this time that its our fault and we need to replace it

I feel like she's using us as a piggy bank to redo her house, while constantly threatening to evict us. It feels like a constant circle, she charges us for stuff, so we have to work more, so we have more difficulty keeping the house tidy and gardening, so she gets us to pay for more freaking gardening. I feel like I just can't do it anymore. On top of that my work has made it mandatory that everyone has a Level 3 NVQ in health and social care, so I have to put aside time to get all that done so I can keep my job, before I go on maternity leave (which I might be forced to take at 28 weeks. So. Not long to do it!)

We both got £500 each from the Welsh government for working through covid. One half of it went to fixing our car that broke last week. And now I imagine the remaining money will go on whatever landlady wants repaired. Which sucks because our washing machine has been leaking for months and I really want to get a new one. Plus I was going to spend some of it on visiting my family on my birthday 😭 but now the landlord has decided she wants to come up that day.

ON TOP OF ALL THAT. We aren't allowed any access to the attic or garage. So we have no storage space. We have a spare bedroom our Foster son use to have but he's since moved out. So we keep stuff in there - think a wardrobe, desk, bed, Ivys old crib, 2 moses baskets, some of Ivys newborn clothes, a binbag of toys shes too old for that I want to keep for the next baby, and our dining room table we had to take down because Ivy kept climbing it. Landlady is NOT happy about this at all. She has demanded we get rid of it all. We asked if we could buy a shed, she said not until we could prove we could be better at storing items, and making use of "storage solutions, such as book cases". ...wtf who can fit a fucking dining room table on a book shelf? What does that even mean? So. I don't even know what to do. I mean I don't want to get rid of those things, that we plan on using again in the future, some (like moses baskets) we'll be using in a few months time... so what do I even do? Shes claiming theyre a fire hazard and she "can't inspect the room" but.. you can easily walk around the room, pretty much everything is stacked in corners or on the bed. The only thing I can think of doing is hiring a storage container... which is again more money.

It sucks. I want to move house. I've been trying to do a deep clean of the bathroom this morning. Its not particularly dirty but there's stuff like toothpaste splatter on the taps, Bath crayons on the tiles etc, and in that time Ivy has pulled all her toys out in her bedroom and all her clothes out of the drawers. So the house is now MORE MESSY than before. I hate to imagine what its going to be like when we have a newborn too 😭 I'm just glad I'll at least be on maternity leave so I can get more stuff done.

We get 12 hours per week free childcare when Ivy turns 2. Am I an asshole to send her just so I have time to get housework done before I explode due to frustration?