2weeks too much?

Question

My fiancé asked if I’m going to need help when baby#2 arrives and I said two weeks would be nice. We have a 1 year old he’ll be 1 year and 7months when baby gets here. Our son loves sleeping in bed with us and cries so loud when I place him in the crib. Currently staying the nights with him at his moms house so he doesn’t  like to let him cry it out on his own and keep them awake. After having had my son i know it doesn’t get easier till after 2-3 months after baby is born. My fiancé didn’t help me at all by waking up to feed our son when he was born because “he worked all day”. Is asking for two weeks too much? He was hoping I’d ask for 3 days.

Answer

I'd honestly be pissed if my husband only offered 3 days (especially if he can take the time off) and him not helping is kind of unacceptable 🤷🏽‍♀️ my husband always takes at least 2 weeks (PTO thankfully) and I'm hoping I can get 3 this time 😣 gl mama

Answer

Personally, I think 2 weeks is the bare minimum. My husband took off 3 weeks with my first and we have talked about him taking off at least a month this time around. We live in a state that has paid family leave though, so he gets up to 12 weeks paid by the state at 85% of his regular weekly wage. So he might take a month and then take the rest throughout the baby’s first 12 months.

Answer

No way is 2 weeks too much or unreasonable.  Taking care of a newborn is hard and exhausting and adding another toddler to the mix only increases the challenge.  My husband unfortunately cant take any time off because he’s in the fire academy but my parents offered to come down for 2-3 weeks to help me out as I’ll be in a similar situation learning to juggle a newborn and a 1.5 year old

Answer

My hubby is only able to take 2 weeks off and it's giving me anxiety but we need to make do with what we got. Every baby is different and maybe you'll have an angel baby that sleeps great and eats only every 3 hrs but you don't know until you're in it. 3 days is obnoxious. It's probably because he's planning to sleep again and then thinks he will be bored during the day. I'm betting you did all the work with your first which is why he thinks this. You need to get him more involved. Are you planning to pump at all? If so then make him do the bottle feedings and you breastfeed. Make him change the baby. Get your 2 weeks of recovery properly dont do all the work and your husband sit at home bored. He can cook and clean the house and bottle feed so you can rest/spend time with your 1.5 yr old. You can also breastfeed and bond w the baby of course but if you were planning on doing a combo of breastfeeding/bottle feeding then he needs to be more involved and no just on you. Not to mention even if you are choosing to exclusively breastfeed then shouldn't he be busy with helping your 1.5 yr old while you're recovering/getting used to baby? 3 days is an illusion of someone who doesn't understand how much work it will be and thinks they'll be bored at home. Burst his bubble

Answer

I wouldn’t say it’s too much by any means but is it really necessary? Our first was 20months when our twins came off my husband could only get off they days I was in the hospital plus two days when I got home. I mean he could’ve taken more but financially would have killed us. Having a toddler and a newborn is far from easy but you adjust to it. I’m currently pregnant with baby number four and we will have 4 3yo and under and my husband will only get a little bit of time off. Sometimes men feel their role is to provide financially so he might not understand the request for some help maybe talk to him and come to some sort of agreement.

Answer

2 weeks is definitely NOT asking too much. My partner took 2 weeks with my first and it helped me to heal. Now with a toddler and newborn I couldn't imagine less. And because of some conditions in this pregnancy there is a chance I may need a csection, and that healing can take up to 6 weeks, and I've let him know if that's the case I would need him to take a little more time. Best of luck with your bubs!! But please, never feel like your asking too much by asking for help - you are creating and bringing life into the world! That is amazing, and he should want to be there to help and to be around for those first few amazing weeks.

Answer

I think two weeks is perfect, if not more! It gives you time to heal after birth especially with a newborn and toddler and gives you time to get a bit of a daytime routine down. I feel like maybe even a month would be so nice because it’ll help establish a new normal that much more, but obviously that isn’t always realistic.

Answer

My partner receives two weeks paid off by government dad and partner pay when the baby is born but I've asked him to make it a month to be safe, we have a mortgage after buying a house the month prior to finding out about baby and car repayments so more time is really pushing it financially after a month. If you can afford extra time then definitely he should be at home for you.

Answer

My husband wants to try to take 4 weeks off from work. He’s a teacher though so we will see!

Answer

My husband only took 3 days with our son and the only reason he took so little is because he would have lost his job otherwise. This time around he has a much better job and will be taking 2 weeks. 3 days is simply not enough. Trust me, I did it, it was not healthy for me. I occasionally would have my mom come help me when she could but honestly I wish I had my husband more through that. I'm glad he'll be taking more time this time since I know I'll definitely need it.

2weeks too much?

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