Help please!

Hey there I need some advice . how do you try to distract yourself from wanting a baby . I keep getting so depressed and down . my partner isn't ready for a baby .and I accept that I just don't show him my feelings about it . I cry about it when I'm alone. I can't stop thinking about wanting kids of my own . and I physically ache because of how badly I want to be a mom . he isn't ready and I know we have all the time in the world . I know he is scared about being a dad (he grew up with a bad father ) but I've felt this way for the past couple years now .he has said if it happens it happens . but he doesn't want a baby right now . and he says he doesn't care if I take my birth control but he doesn't want a baby right now . I've been off my birth control for a week now and we haven't been using other protection. But he isn't ready for a baby right now . I'm soo confused . he is excited to be a dad but later in life . I just need some advice . I need to figure out how to stop thinking about babies.