Should I be upset with my bf?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a month but we’ve known each other since January of this year. I knew that his life was super complicated and that his whole family depends on him financially, etc. We have very bad communication problems to the point where we make plans and he won’t tell me if he’s coming or not so I stay up till 2am waiting for him just for him to not call or text me until the next day with an excuse. I try to be very understanding because of his family situation and he has kids so of course things happen but lately i’ve been getting very irritated because it feels like he’s taking me kindness for weakness. I recently left my college to go home and he didn’t even come to see me and then wouldn’t talk to me for 3 days and basically left me guessing on whether he’s ok or not. I’ve been in terrible relationships before and he knows that and promised that he would show me different…but at this point I’m emotionally exhausted. I feel like I’m chasing him when I feel like it should be the other way around. At this point I don’t even want to talk to him anymore because no matter how many times I ask him to be considerate and responsible towards our relationship he doesn’t change.

Also we have an 11 year age gap so I’m not sure if that also factors into our problems (I’m 20 and he’ll turn 31 in a few months). I honestly don’t care about the age difference but it makes me wonder if our age makes us think differently than one another. Please help I don’t know what to do anymore.