Monster in laws or PPD? Mil kept messaging and telling my husband that I had PPD and that I am crazy & he should just leave us (me and our child etc)

My mother in law and I have never had any issues not once, she also had never been to my home until me and my husband (her son) had our first son💙

She wanted to have my little breastfed 2 week old (I didn’t want to use bottles unless we were going out etc I kinda don’t like pumping 🤷‍♀️) overnight and my FIL who is allergic to eggs and has a condition that makes him unable to get the shot you have to make everyone visiting get that prevents whooping cough etc like it’s legit a thing and I know for a fact that the didn’t make that up he really can’t take it.

But when they got there he also refused to wash his hands, his mom kept telling me how to live my life at every visit it was a new type of badgering like “you know all this in his crib isn’t safe” knowing very well he don’t use the crib yet we happily co slept with him it was much easier on me breastfeeding with those EXTREMELY INCONVENIENT epidural migraines etc.

Anyways she forced me to have a bottle A AS IN ONE for her to feed him overnight. Like no ma’am a NB eats every 2 - 3 HRS ? so my dumbass took that as she only was going to have him for 4 hours right? But no no one woke me up when I did wake up at 9 am the following morning my son not only was starving but he had a 100.7 fever. Meaning they had brought in a cold. Which led to me mid pandemic stuck alone (only one parent is allowed in this was in mid April 2020) wording for my babe and slightly pissed off at them both.

I brought it to their attention that he was sick the last time they visited and would no longer be sleeping with them. They didn’t like it. She offered to help around the house and wouldn’t take no thank you for an Answer went snooping in my room. Found my birth control and told me I should be on it or probably get an implant because I wouldn’t want to make the same mistake she did and have babies months apart (my son being the middle child so she just told me my husband was an unwanted accident)

These passive agressive slightly annoying and extremely uncomfortable visits continued and I would only get excuses absolutely no apologies because they could never do anything wrong they are “above” mistakes.

I called his mom after taking a break from contact to make amends and FIL takes the phone from her because she’s not taking any accountability and I’m just trying to explain I will not flex my boundaries to please anyone in like the nicest way humanly possible I literally took the time to write out what I wanted to say and everything I wanted to cover and even apologize for the way I handled asking them to back off sometimes.

She wasn’t having any of it. None. FIL takes the phone and just starts saying they don’t need us and our little fairytale drama in their life and that I needed mental help for ripping their family apart like a crazy person.. I didn’t do anything to them. He attacked my parents by saying if I had a normal family I wouldn’t act or think the way I did. I just was asking for mutual respect and explaining I would love to see them again soon but we needed to work on accepting the way the family dynamics have changed I’m my sons mother and that will never change ya know? You can’t just come comb through my room and tell me what to do with my body, and re arrange my kitchen I understand it’s difficult trying to do balance wanting to care for your son and being a grandma now and I want to hopefully learn and grow with you through this transition. Like I was as nice as anyone could possibly be, and to top it there were 2 things that just broke the deal for me I woke up from a little 1 hour nap to hearing FIL and mil referring to eachother as mommy and daddy. The birth control incident, the wrong incident, re arranging my kitchen (I couldn’t find anything around 3 am I wanted a snack because cluster feeding and found everything had a new place it was more like how she has her kitchen I found that slightly annoying but left it because I innocently thought it was more of her just trying to be able to find things easily in our home since they were coming about every 2-5 weeks which was fine until it was just absolutely overwhelming and not fine around at around 5 months old. Then when she said something about putting him on a yoga ball and I said I wasn’t comfortable with doing that and then she immediately gets up and does so.

I informed them they wouldn’t be visiting our home anymore until the vaccine is approved 100% and everyone even us have taken it. I thought that would be a nicer way of telling them no more visits to our home because the blatant disrespect was kinda ruining and stressing me out during my sons first 5 months of life but when anyone else visited I wasn’t stressed or anything I was absolutely fine with other people holding him etc it was just my in laws (husbands mom and dad)

As stated above to my knowledge they’ve never had any issues with me before and I know I’ve never had any issues with them before until April of 2020.

My husband However gets a multitude of NASTY messages about me “if she’s so worried about him getting sick she should babysit her friends toddler” “we love you no matter what you do” “sorry your wife is keeping you from your child like this when you’re home” (when he visited them alone and agreed to me and our baby staying because he didn’t want to put us through anything more than we had been my husband loves his parents which I think is great he can see them whenever he wants to he is entirely his own person just not force me and our child to accept the behavior his parents give us because it’s just not kid or respectful in the slightest)

I also don’t mind people correcting me I love learning to do better, and being corrected when I’m wrong but I also know the difference between constructive and regular just plain criticism. I don’t take anything personally but the way my mil acted and treated me as a mom herself really hurt my heart. Any advice would be nice I haven’t spoken to her or FIL since September or 2020 because I don’t see the point in trying to fix things with someone when they can’t see that what they were doing you were not comfortable with and tried explaining that but kept being told you were insane and unreasonable and “feel better/ get some help soon”