Is this a form of abusive behavior or something else?

My husband and I have been together 6 years and he’s my best friend. He’s normally very friendly, joking, and helpful. He would do anything I ask from him and is very gentle and respectful towards me.

However sometimes he gets in these weird moods where he baits me and insinuates things about me that aren’t true. Like gaslighting. And he has always done this, so it’s not new. For example, the other day we were talking about remodeling the kitchen. He said “I like that blue countertop we saw at Lowe’s”. I said “oh, I don’t remember that.” And he said “well that’s because you never fucking listen to me,” and was randomly pissed off. Then another time, I had an empty La Croix can on the counter I hadn’t put in the recycling yet (which is in the garage) because I was busy with the kids. He grabbed it and said “what we’re not gonna do is leave our trash in the kitchen”. I joked, “how about that literal dirty paper plate and napkin you left on the table right there?” and he said “stop always deflecting and causing an argument.” It’s always so random and passive aggressive and makes me feel like I must be the one with the problem. One other example that doesn’t involve me is our 2 year old, he has very little patience with. He constantly tells him to stop making noise and says things like “what’s wrong with you?” and “why do you make everything difficult?” I always get on to him for this and he responds with “I’m sorry you think I’m such a terrible father!”

Is this gaslighting? Could it be considered abusive behavior? I ask because after it happens I feel so horrible and uncomfortable in my own home.