I just need a space to spill all the thoughts jumbling around in my head.

I had a chemical pregnancy back in September. It wrecked me. I couldn’t even let my husband touch me for several months after as I felt betrayed by my body and like it wasn’t my own. I took it very hard.

I am currently 5 weeks 5 days and just a nervous wreck. My office doesn’t do ultrasounds until 8 weeks and they are very strict on it.

With my son I was sick from the get go. Also very tired. I know that each pregnancy is different, but I feel so different right now. I’m barely nauseous or having any symptoms. I have insomnia. I’m just a ball of nerves.

I keep trying to talk myself down because it’s so early I have no proof of anything other than my symptoms. But mind is just racing. My husband has barely been excited for this pregnancy because he is so cautious after seeing how hard I took the chemical pregnancy.

Anyone else feeling like an absolute disaster right now?