Should I expect help with our kids?

Question

My mother in law lives with us and is currently unemployed. So she is just home all day doing nothing. I’m a SAHM to three kids age 3 and under. My husband is working a lot (not home). Is it unreasonable to expect my MIL to help me around the house and with the kids? I’m literally drowning doing everything by myself atm.

Accepted Answer

I find it odd a MIL living with her kids and grandkids rent free doesn’t WANT to help.

Answer

Expect help with kids ? No , she didn't make those kids.  Expect her to help around the house ? Yes because she lives there - rent free - so the least she could do is help you tidy the house . 
Have you asked her for help ?

Answer

Yes she needs to help or pay rent unless she wants to move out on her own.

Answer

I don’t know about “expect”, but you can definitely sit down as a family and talk about what she would be willing to do to pull her weight as a member of the family.

Answer

I don’t about her with the kids but she should be helping with the house chores at least

Answer

My mom lives with us and helps with the kids and cleaning up around the house. I literally have to make her stop cleaning because I don't want her to feel like the nanny. I find it odd that anyone can be in the same space, watch someone struggling, and not offer to help. It just seems like common courtesy to help someone who needs it. Like, when I would visit my brother, just for the weekend, if my nephew needed a diaper change and I noticed, I'd announce it and then just go change it. If you are both in the house all day, I'd expect her to help a little.

Answer

I think its odd she doesn’t want to help. If I was living rent free somewhere, you bet your ass I’d be doing dishes and changing diapers

Answer

If she is living in the house eith you id expect her to carry her own within the house. Cleaning cooking whatever. I wouldnt expect her to do anything with my children!  There mine not hers if i asked for help id hope shed help but i wouldnt expect her to just help especially with a mother in law  Most ppl hate mother in laws they have a bad rep for being too involved so she might not want to be that person.

Answer

I think she should help but I also think it’s unfair to expect it without communicating with her. I think it should be a conversation.

Answer

I expect everyone who lives in my house to contribute. I wouldn’t expect her to help with the kids since they were my choice, but she can damn well do some dishes or wash a floor since she lives there.

Should I expect help with our kids?

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