Bye love

I do t know what to do yesterday the man that I loved since I was 16 left my life. 10 years of my life having him in my memory thinking he’s the one for me. He was the only thing that gave me hope, why I tried to do better , and now he is gone. I honestly woke up with this void . I lost my virginity to him he was the first person to kiss me in the movies take me on a trip, make me think about them every day since I meet them. I thought that maybe if I did things like loose weight get my degree look better somehow he’ll care. And I did all those to vein. He has hurt me in the past from leaving me in a parking lot at night alone, to telling me all that I was to him was someone to fuck. He would block me add me invite out always after 12 at night and obviously you know why. He’s deleted me from his life so many times and yet I always take him back . I held on to who he was and the hope of him for almost half my life . I could of been hurt by others but I always felt like he wouldn’t and he did. He just used me for a quick night and that is awful to feel. I had to tell him to never speak to me to leave me and that was so hard I don’t want to do anything. I know it will get better I’m sure but now is hard . How can the only person that made me love have hope have the best feelings in this world for years. Be the one that destroyed me with just one night and a few words. Ugh I hope I feel better soon because right now I feel a void that I have never felt .