A rude awakening…

Today I took a pregnancy test…

The very moment that I saw the positive result, I realized that I should NOT be in my current relationship and I do NOT love this man. Arguably the worst way to realize this.

I’ve been thinking about ending things with him for a few weeks, but it was something I was on the fence about. I hardly want to be with a man, I’ve always wanted to settle down and build a life with a woman and was just too afraid for reasons that I will not get into here. Now I’m sure and it’s too late.

I was so excited at the idea of having another child, especially after having lost the love of my life. As if having another would fill the void that was left behind the day I buried my sweet baby.

With this man though… it doesn’t feel right. I felt it instantly. And I don’t know what to do.

I am pro-choice all the way, yet I have never felt that it was the right choice for me. I still dont. But I just can’t see myself going through with this pregnancy. I want to be in love with the parent of my next child, and this man I can hardly bear the sight of since realizing that he’s not the one for me.

What do I DO