This is a lot. I don't know what to do.

To start I am moving and it is hot as balls. Friday the 18th as I am driving to donate some clothes, Bambi totaled my car leaving me with a black eye from the rear view mirror and a deep gash on my leg from the glass. Good news is my deer friend was nowhere to be found and I hope is prancing in a nice field somewhere far from traffic. So Tuesday the 22nd we find out I am pregnant after 7 years of trying. So happy but so scared. Every twinge makes me terrified. I am not embarrassed in the slightest to admit how pleased I am when it turns out to be a toot. I am trying to not stress but moving and trying to buy a new car while working full time has made this week rough. But that's nothing.

Yesterday hit me like a ton of bricks. I am finding it hard to breathe.

He had an endoscopy and of course he tried to hide it in the recovery room but his eyes couldn't lie. I must have sat there for 3 minutes before I could even blink. As we sobbed I couldn't help but tell him. I said Dad I am pregnant and he burst out in the most thunderous laughter. And then I laughed and we cried like never before. My dad has cancer. MY dad. The most wonderful man in the world. My dad has cancer and is going to die.

I don't know what to do. I am so angry with myself for telling him. How could I be so stupid?

What the f am I going to do without my dad

I can't even type anymore I'm crying so hard