Just lost

I have failed my daughter. Right now, she is dealing with stomach issues and doctor said it could be ulcers or her gallbladder. We have don’t x-rays, lab work, ultrasound and stool sample and we are awaiting results. SHE IS 7! She is way to young to be having these issues. My first thought was her gallbladder as I had mine removed when I was 12, due to it not functioning properly. When he said ulcers my heart just stopped, and a frog jumped down my throat. She is our nervous kid. Always worried or stressing about something. It doesn’t help that her dad and I argue like cats and dogs. Time and time again we have talked about not arguing in front of her and stopping it all together and we do good for a while then we are back at it. I have told him numerous times that maybe it be best that we aren’t together for the sake of the kids and that always just blows up to a fight. But now here we are with all this going on and I feel like I should have just packed my kids and left. I know even with leaving she would have worried and stressed about leaving but at least the stress of fighting would be gone and that would be a huge chunk of it once we got settled. My job as a mom is to protect her from all that and I have tried my very best. Once arguments start I try my hardest to bite my tongue but its so hard when her dad constantly follows me around the house just going off. Once it is to that point I normally pack up the kids and we leave. We go do something fun. But even after we leave my phone is blowing up because now he’s mad that we left. So, she is nervous and scared about what Is going to happen when we get back home. I to am guilty about starting fights with him, usually about not getting any help around the house or how he is just mean with the kids he never does anything fun with them when he is home. I always assure her that I have her that she will always be safe with me and that the only thing she needs to do is to be a kid. To have fun and let me deal with everything else. She also worries about money. Example when we go grocery shopping she sees how much the bill is. Normally we shop for 2 weeks meals planned so we spend around 150-180 and she is tugging at me when were paying so see if we have enough money for that. I tell her don’t worry I got it and I pay and tell her see it went through. We get to the car and I explain to her that she doesn’t need to worry about money that is my job and that is why me and her dad work. Keep in mind we have never gave her any kind of reason to believe that we can’t afford something unless were talking like thousands of dollars. Then we explain that it is something that we need to save for (example of getting a new 4-wheeler) she worries if we have enough gas to get to where we are going. She never even sees the gas gage but ask every couple days if we are going to make it to town. She worries about people breaking in. she worries about the neighbors on the corner because he friends said they are bad people. I explained that just because someone says that it doesn’t mean it is true. We don’t know those neighbors so we cant say if they are bad or not. There was the one year the little girl fell from the cruise ship with her grandpa. We had the news on for the weather that morning and it popped up. Not really paying attention until she mentioned what was going on. It had caught her eye. She cried and prayed for that little girl and she still mentions her to this day. She worries about her family dyeing even though we are all healthy grandparents great grands and all. I had an uncle pass away when she was 3 weeks old and she sometimes cries at night for him. We do talk about him but only good memories. She worries about heaven and what goes on up there and if she is going. Oh the list goes on and on. We have done therapy that helped until it didn’t. we had seen a different therapy doctor to see if she needed meds to help calm her mind and they said nope. It is a constant struggle with her every day and most days it is all day. She will get stuck on something and go on about it all day and sometimes for the next couple day and sometimes its multiple things in one day. I assure her and assure her til I just cant take it then I get mad at myself for telling her just to stop. So I apologize and assure her more. I feel there is more I could have done or need to do and I hope this doctor can help us with that once we get this stomach stuff figured out.