How does your husband deal with tantrums?

Question

Yeah, both him and my daughter. I am really really struggling right now. She’s two, so she has tantrums and whines and cries just about all day long. It’s hard. But I just don’t agree with the way he talks to her and so Ive started saying something and now we just fight constantly. She will start whining and he will say “ Harlow, I’m going to scream at you if you don’t stop” and then she will whine again cause she’s 2 and it’s normal and she obviously didn’t understand what hw said and he will just scream at her “ SHUT UP, lay down and shut the fuck up, what is the matter with you” so I step in tell him “ she’s 2 this is normal behavior , you are being verbally abusive. Telling her “ what is the matter with you” drew the line. Making her believe her normal behavior for a 2 year old  is out of the ordinary which it’s not. He’s a good dad he will take her places and play with her and she loves him to death. I just cannot handle the way he “disciplines” her. When I say “ she’s only 2 she doesn’t know how to handle her feelings” he think I just making up excuses to baby her and spoil her. How do your husbands deal with tantrums. I’m going to end up leaving a 10 year relationship over this cause he will say “ I can’t wait till older or Harlow if you were any older” cause he thinks once she’s 3 or 4 he can yell at her harder. Yesterday she was whining in the car he screams at her , I then ask him to watch his mouth with the F word” he said “ I can’t she’s making me physically sick” I said so our 2 year old has more control than you ? 
Today once he left for work she was fine, I had no issues with her being upset or anything. I am the calm parent the one who gets down on her level and asks her what’s wrong I raise my voice if needed but I certainly don’t yell at her for expressing her big feels I am torn. After this morning when he screamed at her and I stepped in to stand up for her. I know I should have said this but I said “ she would be better off without you” and he flew off the deep end over it. His ex baby mama apparently said the same thing to him but actually left. This is my biological child, she is our daughter together, it’s his biological child as well. he does have a child from a past relationship that he doesn’t see

Answer

If my husband ever told my child, biologically his or not, to shut the fuck up, we would be in family therapy. If he refused or didn’t change, we would be gone.

Answer

She’s your biological child?
Get out. Get out now. Honestly I’d audio record it or video record it and use it in court to get full custody and supervised visitation for him, if that’s possible.
He’s abusing your child. This is verbal abuse. And the worst part is that he doesn’t acknowledge that fact. If he acknowledged it, he could get help for it, learn better ways to cope, better ways to parent, etc. 
Since he doesn’t see an issue with his behavior, it will likely escalate. The verbal abuse might lead to shaking the kid which might lead to hitting the kid which might lead to…you get the picture.
Your child is being abused and it’s your responsibility as her parent to get her out of the situation.

Answer

My fiance had told our baby to shut up a time or two. More out of habit than anything else not really realizing what he was saying but just getting frustrated with the screaming. I had a talk with him about how she's a baby and that's how she communicates and that him speaking to her that was wasn't acceptable. Now if she is having a fit and he gets frustrated he just asks her to please calm down or to stop screaming because sometimes she does it just because she is a drama queen and he doesn't understand why when babies are tired they fight their sleep and throw fits instead of just going to sleep. He's better now. Maybe give him an ultimatum and tell him if he can't speak to her better and control his anger than you will leave and get full custody but make sure you document when he flies off the handle so if you need to get full custody you have proof.

Answer

I wouldn't dear let a man talk to my child like that. Especially if she wasn't his. He is getting wayy too worked up. Sorry mom but it's time for a new boyfriend/ hubby idk but this situation is a no

How does your husband deal with tantrums?

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