Why is ttc so sucky!

When you try everything you can think of. When you go to doctors and try that route. When you try lubes. When you try sex positions. When you take vitamins. When you seriously do everything you can capable of helping only to be let down still...😢after 4 years...of all this...being 34, about to be 38.... and yet still very single month when you are even a day late amd still negative test you hang on to even the tiniest bit of hope for that positive! You may pray, i do, may not and that’s fine too. Every one is pregnant around you and you can’t help but feel defeated, cry when nobody is around when you can. Your heart breaks. I can’t even watch a movie without someone being pregnant in it and it ruining it for me. It’s honestly pathetic. I hate to feel like this. My spouse says, just don’t stress and worry about it. How can you not? Life is so unfair. Yet i will still HOPE for next month😢baby dust to everyone. Sorry for the rant. ❤️