I have not recognized the person in the mirror starring back at me. I feel numb and empty when I look at myself. Like a stranger.

I love my baby. But I don't feel as happy anymore. I feel guilty for feeling this way.

Everyone says I need to make sure to take care of myself. What does that even mean? How do you take care of yourself when everything revolves around taking care of the house and the baby?

Its so hard to put how I feel into words, especially that don't sound scary. I don't have feelings of hurting my baby, or myself but times I feel like not being here would be less painful, but then I feel selfish for that feeling because it would cause pain for others. Then I feel overwhelmed just with everything, I feel like I can't keep up with anything at all. I turn around and there's something else to do.

I guess I am just ranting, I just need to know what it even means to take care of yourself, when you can't even find the time. I need to know if these feelings are normal or if they are a bit more severe and need attention. I feel so uncomfortable saying any of this to anyone..