We have all heard about why it’s hard to be a new mother. Baby won’t sleep, baby won’t eat, breastfeeding is tough, and baby cries and cries and cries. We have all planned for the bumps we fully expect to experience, but what happens when that isn’t the case. What happens when the baby does sleep, eat, and only cries occasionally. What if breastfeeding goes well. What if, despite the normal growth spurts and upset spells, your baby is quite happy and chill? What happens if you have a calm baby and you are still struggling with being a new mom? This is what happened to me.

I had so much guilt. All I could hear were the few people I had shared a few of my struggles with saying how lucky I was. How my baby was easy and I should be more grateful. How hard it was for them with their own babies and how it hasn’t been hard for me at all. I shouldn’t be having a hard time.

I have been so grateful for my daughter. I have helped friends with colicky babies, babies that wouldn’t latch, babies that wouldn’t sleep. I have seen their exhausted tears and heard their broken spirits. I have picked them up from the floor, taken their angry babes, and sent them to bed. I have reminded them to shower, to eat, and to stay hydrated.

I have thanked the heavens every night for my daughter and how calm she has been. How she has been so patient with me as we learn together. But yet I have still struggled so much, and never felt like I could speak. Never felt like I could get help as I felt like I was drowning. How could I possible feel this way...Like my doctor would laugh in my face and say “have you seen your baby. You’re fine. Go home.”

To any ladies like me, hear me. All mothers can struggle with being a mother. From the babies up for nine hours every night to the ones that sleep through the night from the beginning. All mothers can have depression, anxiety, stress, and fear due to the major life changes that just occurred. All mothers can need help to function as they lean into their new role. No matter how your baby is, NEVER feel bad about needing help or support. Ever. And do not let anyone make you feel otherwise.

All you mommas out there, you are amazing and you can do this, even if you need a little bit of outside help🥰