Feeling guilty about having gender disappointment

Hey everyone! So iv always been the type of mom to only wish for a healthy baby, never had a preference as to boy or girl. I have two beautiful healthy daughters which are 2 years apart, i always always knew i wanted three kids but didnt plan on getting pregnant this soon, but obviously things dont always go as planned and i got pregnant with my third baby (almost 13 weeks now) today I received my nipt results and decided not to throw a huge gender reveal like i did with my last two, so my friend brought 2 balloons for my husband and i to pop. We held our two babies and popped the balloons, PINK!!!!! My face just frozeeee. This was about 6 hours ago and i feel like im still frozen! Lol i dont know, i dont think that im sad because its a girl but i think maybe because i know i will never experience having a boy. Im blessed with another miracle and i dont want to feel this way. Has anyone felt this? And does it go away fast?