How do I address something like this?👀

So I’ve noticed that my significant other, here lately, masturbates more than we have sex. That’s not an issue, as I do daily (for the dopamine hit and stress relief) and always have as long as I can remember on into childhood. I have a daughter who has also done this from a very young age. So masturbation does not bother me.🤗 What is bothering me though is that I just started noticing it about 4 or 5 months ago….we’ve been together for over 5 years now and he’s not displayed this type of behavior before. In fact, when we got together he mentioned that he isn’t big on masturbation, and honestly I believed him because he has a low sex drive (admitted to this as well) and hasn’t ever shown to be interested in this sort of thing. Like he doesn’t even make jokes about it like some other perverted guys I’ve known in the past. He is also normally on it with communication during sex and foreplay. And he’d ask me if I was good before he finished. Sometimes he’s hold off on purpose because he saw how into it I was then.

What has me confused is that I didn’t realize how much he has been doing it until last night when we went to get intimate. His junk was a WHOLE lot smoother to the touch than it ever has been. This had me puzzled. I thought, Has he been moisturizing it? lol.

We hadn’t been intimate in almost 2 weeks. This time was super quick, and he didn’t do any touching other than holding me close to him so that I could touch him. He held me close, said, “I appreciate what you’ve been doing lately.” (I had been keeping up with housework) He laid there just holding me with his eyes closed, hinting like he has before that he wants to be touched. So I did, but nothing was returned in the moment. When he was ready, he told me to flip over and within 2 quiet minutes (he didn’t say a word) he was done. It was super quick and he didn’t ask if I was good like he normally does. The time we got intimate before this, it was also super quick.

He goes to the restroom and sits on his phone and masturbates. I’m not sure how often, but all I know is I’ve seen him doing this more times than we’ve been intimate in over the past month. I only see this because our bathroom in our bedroom doesn’t have a door, so we have a black curtain hanging in the doorway. Well you can still slightly see through the crack as your walking by, as well as the matching silhouette as the person sits on the toilet on their phone. So when I walk by the bathroom and his silhouette is sitting in some awkward position (not a normal pooping stance lol), I know what he is doing. It’s pretty apparent other than that.

At first this kinda hit me in the insecurities, but this long has me just concerned for him at this point. He is on his phone when he does it. Surely he doesn’t have a porn addiction, because when we got together he made it clear that he doesn’t support that sort of thing. And I believed him because he’s mature and doesn’t even talk dirty or make dirty jokes. He seems to find that sort of talk awkward. And nothing up until months ago gave any indication that he was doing that. We are together a lot. If we aren’t at work, we are together at home with the kids.

Does this sound off to you? I want to ask him so bad, but he isn’t open with that sort of thing, and I’m afraid I’ll embarrass him or offend him by asking. Hell, I’ll even take some comfort in what it COULD possibly be. I just have no idea what to think about it. I’ve been on a mental health kick lately, so after getting past myself being insecure, all I can think now is if he is okay mentally. Like what’s brought about this behavior all of a sudden, after 5 years? I’m just worried at this point but am afraid of being rejected if I voice that concern.

Also, I should mention that the reason I’m afraid to bring it up, besides the excuse of RSD (harhar👀) is that he has actually gotten defensive in the past when I’ve brought up personal things, so if I were to bring this up….yeah, I don’t feel like getting yelled at.😳😅 Unless, maybe someone could give me a possible caring approach to this?🥺