My mother & her bf
To start things off, I've been told that my mom and her boyfriend are narcissistic. I don't really know the signs and such, but I've done a little research-- enough to know that it's really bad. I've also been told that my mother relies on me as a support system, and I didn't notice because I had been raised as one. I just need to know if they're toxic, because I have epilepsy and I can't handle the stress of trying to pinpoint all the signs. Below is a list of things they do any say.
1. They constantly say that since they pay my phone bills (bills in which I have offered to pay), that I somehow "owe" them. They want me to clean the house, watch the kids, and watch the pets throughout the week because of this.
2. My mom has said countless times how she's the reason I'm alive today, so I should be super grateful to her & help her with whatever she wants.
3. I've been told that I need to show more respect towards the both of them because "they put a roof over my head and feed me and clothe me".
4. Anytime my mom gets in bad terms with one of my siblings, she texts me or calls me (sometimes she comes up to me in person) to complain about them & she expects me to come up with solutions that fit her wants.
I mean, they hold everything over my head to get me to do things they want me to do. For example, the phone bills (i said i would pay them, they declined, then later said we had had a conversation that ended in my watching the kids, pets, and cleaning the house to pay them back for paying my phone bills. I never had such a conversation with them & when I said so, they made it seem like I had just forgotten or I was just saying that so they'd just pay my billls and i didnt have to do anything.) They get mad when I punish my siblings for their wrongdoings. (I really just send them to timeout for like 5 minutes or I take away the electronics for a bit to have them play outside.) My mom also always tells me about her problems & I can't really relate to most or figure out a solution, but I've been doing this since I was young, so I just kind of think of what I believe could be a possible solution. She gets upset with me if whatever i came up with didn't work, even though Ive told her that i have no idea how to handle the situations she has.
They pretty much expect me to do everything in the house in return for them paying my phone bills and raising me. If i say anything back about how parents are expected to raise and care for their children (in which i am in no way telling them i expect them to pay for everything for me), they get mad at me and tell to me to not ask for anything from them again and how ungrateful and bratty i am. They constantly tell my younger sister how she's so spoiled and ungrateful, but we can get a rock as a present and be grateful because we're happy they thought of us.
I personally don't believe we are ungrateful, spoiled brats, but that's what they say we are. It usually doesn't get to me, but lately it has been since people have told me my mother and her boyfriend are toxic. So im unsure of what to think. I mean, these are the people that raised me and i know i can be an ungrateful brat sometimes, but is the relationship really so toxic?
Edit: For those saying for me to move out, I can't at the moment because I've recently had a big spike in my epilepsy. They've upped my medication and I can't drive or anything since I've had a seizure about 2-3 months ago. I have to be 6 months seizure free, and for the first half of that, I needed to be watched since I was at high risk of having another.