Scared of pregnancy and labor

I have a 1 year old and the pregnancy was great the labor I had to start labor because my daughters fluid was somehow leaking for weeks and at 37 went to hospital as an emergency they wanted me to go naturally and so I did I did have to get an epidural as to I was moving very slow :/ after that it was quick 2 pushed and she was out ! After is where I had some complications I kept hemorrhaging they were able to stop it and everything was fine but didn’t have much of milk supply which was fine as long as baby was eating right . Well second baby came around 1 year apart mind you I was in birth control for both these babies . Well same thing everything was fine my body naturally broke it’s water and to the hospital I went same thing but 10x worse hemorrhage was really bad I had to be out asleep as I was crying in pain and literally screaming and all drugged up to try to stop pain I was sent to a bigger hospital which I had to get a procedure done to get the rest of the bag out:( it was horrible I just found out I’m 5 weeks and I’m very confused I am on birth control the iud and I was so scared we used condoms once in awhile ! Now I’m just sacred of having sex again !! And labor I am freaking out because my wonderful midwife said it’s really dangerous for me to get pregnant could be life or death 😓😓

Sorry for the long post I just need to vent 😪