please give me good advice

so my bf is an alcholic he doesnt admit to it he says he aint but he is.. he drinks everyday on weekends he gets drunk im unhappy we been together 6 yrs now im miserable im tired of excuses im tired of everything i want to move on with my life but he doesnt leave im tired of this toxic relationship i want someone to love me and show me attention and be my best friend i have no friends at all... i always keep things inside and the anger builds up.. i tryed talking to him he dont listen he says he stop but never do im tired of sorry to... im just so fed up and miserable... im almost 30 my dream is find someone to marry me and have a family and everything... we always broke he never saves money he doesnt have nothing in life... the only reason i think i always stay is because im ugly and fat noone will love me like this i have depression and axienty and all i did was eat i weigh 233 pounds i use be 120 pounds.. my life is so messy i have no family or friends... all i do is cry because i want to be happy i want this relationship to be fixed i want to be happy and everything... :(