Hi recently I have been feeling like my mental health keeps getting worse . It’s like I get out of this hole and when things start to go well it all seems to crumble down and I develop even more issues . Last year I was doing well and my MDD was getting better , I found ways to distract myself from self harm like working out which I needed also at the time because I was making myself feel miserable due to how I looked . It was this really bad relationship with me and my body and working out became obsessive to the point where I would take pictures of every angle of my body and everyday I would compare them . I saw results and got this confidence and felt good . My energy was good and I was enjoying life . School started and a lot of issues came my way that I thought was unfair and it made me miss a whole semester of school which stressed me out , on top of that I Hated the fact holidays where coming because I didn’t want to gain weight . I had so much stress due to other things as well . My Birthday came and the months before January I stopped working out and I felt I was gaining weight again . I completely am disgusted with myself . I started self harming again for a could months until I stopped but I don’t enjoy life . I feel unmotivated and have really bad anxiety. When I try to enjoy things it’s hard for me , earlier this week I went to the lake and I hate taking pictures of myself or being near any camera and I was kept told to take pictures and it was annoying and later on that day I got even more triggered because we went to go out to eat to a Mexican restaurant and all the girls there where my age but there bodies where gorgeous and it made me feel ashamed of myself. A lot of things make me feel ashamed , I am super fragile all of a sudden , I hate shopping , I feel uncomfortable being around thin or slim thick girls , I always feel judged when I’m with my mom because I feel people probably look at me and are like how the fuck are they related . She dresses better then me , the way someone my age should be dressing and I think she’s beautiful but it makes me feel iffy about myself . I don’t like feeling this way especially towards family . Does anyone have any advice ?