I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression a few years ago and went to therapy and took medicine for a while. I was feeling better and more able to overcome those feelings, so I havent had therapy in a while and I came off the medication earlier this year.

Maybe around the end of the school year or start of the summer, I noticed my anxiety starting to come back. I kept telling my mom and she said she would find me another therapist. Well it got worse until a few days ago she finally called my doctor and got me some new medication. I started it Monday night.

It’s Wednesday morning and I feel worse than I maybe ever have. I’ve always felt some kind of resilience, like the anxiety or the panic attacks or depression would eventually go away and I just had to wait it out. But now it’s consuming me and I feel like it will never gl away and I will always be scared and sad.

My mom wants me to call my preacher and go talk to him because he also struggles with anxiety and could help me a lot through a religious perspective which is important to me. But I can’t even stop crying long enough to call him.

I feel like I’m going to drown and never be okay. The only thing that makes me feel safe is potentially just living with my parents forever and knowing that they will take care of me. But what about when they get old and die? Who would take care of me then??? I don’t feel like I will ever be strong enough to take care of myself. And I don’t feel like I will ever find a partner willing to take care of me and love me unconditionally either. I just need to feel supported and cherished and I don’t know that I can.