I feel like I’m out of the game now lol

So, I’m 23 this year & I have myself a 2 year old + a newborn on the way. I feel like, I will never find someone now that I have 2 kids. I mean, I’m not looking for anything right away as I am very much not ready for another relationship. I just left a very toxic relationship, we hurt eachother A LOT. When we’d split, we’d be mad at eachother & just sleep around to hurt one another. He was an on again off again alcoholic & drug addict. Hell, I even tried drugs for him to love me more all last summer.

We also had our good times, I pushed him to reach goals. He recently graduated from a mining program that I supported him to finish & he now has a job at a mine, but I’m not sure if he’ll stick to it because lately he’s been drinking excessively & doing coke.

Anyway, has anyone ever dated with 2 children? I want to focus on myself & my baby’s for a few years but what if I’m alone forever? I want to have an intimate connection with someone, I want to love someone properly & for someone to love me properly. I feel like I lost 4 years of my life with someone who was never truly seriously in love with me. If he did love me, how could he get me into coke? How could he put his addictions over me? How could he abandon me & our son? I tried to help him. I really did. He just wasn’t serious about his sobriety.