I’m a cis female, my fiancé (still using he/him pronouns for now) wants to transition to female. We’re both 25 years old. We have a baby together who’s 10 months old.

I feel so selfish. But I’m scared. I’m not even worried about our baby right now. She’s too young to understand.

I fully support him and have been encouraging him to do all this. I’ve been helping him find doctors and driving him to appointments. I haven’t been scared until he started talking about gender reassignment surgeries.

I’m bisexual so I know I have a capacity to love a feminine person.

But what will this change mean for our relationship? Will he still love me like he did before? Or will feelings change?

Will he still be sexually attracted to me? Will we still be able to make love? I know loss of sex drive is common but one of the things I love most is pleasing him. And sex that’s one sided (on my behalf) makes me so uncomfortable, like I’ve coerced somebody into doing it.

Will his personality change? I love him because of who he is, but will that change?

Will it feel like I’m starting a brand new relationship with a new person?

At the end of this, he’ll be an entirely new person. I feel like I’m grieving for somebody who’s still here.

I know it’s super selfish. I don’t need anybody telling me that I’m an asshole I just need some reassurance that things will be okay…