Sex on the first date?

Question

I need to vent. I went on a first date with someone who seems pretty nice and we did sexual stuff. Now looking back I have this sense of guilt and shame purely from what other women have told me and judged me for based on this. I enjoyed it at the time but I cant help but worry I've messed up the relationship from "giving myself away" too quickly. I think it's internalized misogyny...can anyone relate? Not looking for criticism btw.

Answer

Hunny , enjoy your life. People are going to judge , but that says more about them than you. You enjoyed yourself and that's all the matters. Take everyone's opinion with a grain of salt and keep moving.

Answer

When i was in high school there was this guy who was sooo damn hot i wanted to do things to him soo bad lol then after school i think i was 20 we randomly met up and had sex. Couple days later im like wanna go get some coffee hes like nahh u can come iver though im like ahhh ok so booty call hes like yeah sorry u gave it away no need to wine n dine first lol. I felt dumb. 
When i met my husband we had gone to the same high school but never talked or anything then we found each other on facebook years later talked on the phone for three days like non stop went on a date spent the entire day together n it ended wirh sex….he was the next guy i was with after that other guy and as i was starting i thought fuck i hope im not screwing myself here but it felt different. Last time felt like sex. This time felt like such a pull like we just hadd to be touching!!!  He texted me 8 am the next morning and were now married. So i think it depends!  If you think its a hook up kinda relationship its probably just that but if u feel like its something more than no harm. 
And seriously! Who gives a fuck!?  As long as the sex was good smile and move on girl!

Answer

I dont think its misogyny... i think its basic risk and benefit analysis. Casual sex with someone u do not know.... and hve not seen an hiv/std/hepatitis report for is risky behavior. Its not judging.... its just the facts. You need to gaurd your heart and your body as a women because truth of the matter is there are more men out there that will use u and abuse u then not. Just make sure u are ok with any potential consequences and u put practices such as contraceptions, condoms, letting people know your whereabouts etc as u continue to date. I think a man who is genuinely interested in u wont necessarily let that deterr him... but also take into consideration that most men value what does not come easy to them.

Answer

I don’t see anything wrong with it. You do what makes you happy and just be safe. It’s no one else’s business. I’ve waited months to sleep with guys and slept with them on the first date. What you do with your body is your business.

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I personally could never do it, not because of shame, but for safety reasons. There is no way in hell I am going to a stranger's house or bringing him to mine after one date. That is not enough time for me to assess whether or not I'm dealing with a psychopath. I also need to know (with proof) that he is clean. People lie about STD/Is all of the time because they're too ashamed. I also don't know why it's taboo to ask for proof either. I also live in a high-trafficking state, so I am very cautious. (I also may have watched one too many L&O episodes).

Answer

Girl don't let those haters live rent free in your head. You do what makes you happy as long as your safe about it. Life is wayyy to short to be worried about what the next person thinks about you. I had sex with dh on the first night and we have been together 9 years and have a little boy 💙.

Answer

enjoy your life! shame and guilt around sex is useless xoxo do you

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Girl you do you! I have only had sex on the first date once... 5 years later, we’re married with a baby on the way. If it feels right for both of you then there’s nothing to be ashamed of!

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Who cares what people think!!! You had fun and it’s no ones business what you do in your love life. Live you life and do what you want because the only person that matters is you. If it effects the possibility of a relationship with this man then you live and you learn, it’ll be okay.

Answer

My fiancé and I had sex the first night we hung out lol. At first I thought it was going to be a random hookup but we have been together for going on 9 years with 2 kids.

Sex on the first date?

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