I tried to make my husband feel sexy but it backfired

I tried to take my advice to make my husband feel sexy. He survived prostate cancer and got his prostate removed. Its been 8 months since, and he has bowel and bladder control issues so he wears diapers. Plus his weight gain. He doesn't want to have sex because he doesn't feel sexy.... So while he was watching tv in bed I told him how sexy he us and I want to make him feel good. I pull his pants and diaper down and give him a hand job. He seems to really be getting into it... Until he had an accidental bowel movements on the bed. It wasn't horrible and an easy clean up but he was mortified. Its probably gonna take me time to rebuild his self esteem.