Ashamed of my birth experience

I just found out I am pregnant again, I have such bad ptsd from giving birth to my first daughter and I had such a bad experience with the nurses and hospital. My husband and my relationship has always been up and down, but lately up. Well today we got in a little argument and he brought up how he thinks I’m being dramatic about feeling nauseated and sick because I really only started feeling sick after I took the test (that’s why I took a test 🙄). He hasn’t talked to me the last few mornings and it’s cuz he thinks I’m being dramatic, even though I literally threw up, no “you okay” or anything. I let it go. But then I guess this morning while throwing up he heard me cry and say “I feel like I’m dieing” to myself. And then he brought up how I sound crazy and can’t be acting that way at the hospital and he was telling me how I looked crazy to all the nurses and they probably wanted to call cps on me, and I guess while after pushing for HOURS and then going for emergency csection and haveing my neck and face go numb I panicked and said “I want to die” . Ive never been more embarrassed and ashamed in my entire life. Why can’t he just be supportive? I really feel so sad and I can’t stop crying. He is always so unsympathetic toward me. I feel so scared and don’t want to give birth again now. I don’t feel like a very strong person.