My fiancé has been applying for jobs. I was always under the impression that any out of state job he applied for we’d be there 5 years max and move home and buy a house. He got an interview with a very hard to get into research group. This job is 4 hours from home in another state. He already had job offers so was debating taking the interview but ultimately did.

They offer him the job and he’s so excited because he didn’t think he’d get it as it’s an incredibly hard group to get into. People in this group don’t work elsewhere and spend their whole career here(20+ years)

I’m realizing now as he’s verbally told them yes, and his family is telling him not to turn up this opportunity that we never discussed the specifics of moving there. He’s basically stated that if he takes the job we’re living there forever and raising kids there. He has no plans to work anywhere else when he accepts the job.

I’m not excited about having to raise kids 4 hours from family as I’ve always been extremely close to my cousins seeing them every weekend.

It’s too late to say anything because he’s so excited about this, but I’m realizing we should have discussed it earlier.