What is wrong with me?
I hate sex. Honestly. I hate genitals, I hate sex jokes, porn, all of it. It disgusts me and makes me so uncomfortable. Anything to do with sex or sexual activity is extremely disturbing to me. I don't experience arousal either, in the mental sense. I do masturbate but only because it feels good- I have to turn off my brain and not think about anything.
I'm married and I've brought this up to my husband before. We have had sex, but in the last year or so it's decreased significantly. He insists it's okay and he's not going to leave me due to lack of sex, we've had a lot of really good talks and I know he loves me no matter what. I love him and it has nothing to do with him either, we have an amazing marriage.
But the thing is, back in high school and before college I used to have sex! Before my husband, I actively went on tinder and had one night stands and things like that. I didn't really enjoy sex but it was something I still did. Now, 3 years later, it's just gotten worse. I have issues with people touching me and talking to me and sex is basically nonexistent. I feel like I never go out and don't want to interact with people. I love my husband but even sometimes he'll come up hug me from behind and I'll be so uncomfortable for no reason??
I've never been an introvert. I'm very good at talking to people and I work in hospitality. I went to the bar last night with two of my girlfriends and I just hated it. I hated the drunk people acting crazy, I hated the music, I hated the whole scene. I left early and just went home and went to bed. I really tried, but the bar irritated me so much that I actually felt a pit in my stomach.
I swear I'm not a recluse, but slowly I've just been hating social interaction more, hating when people touch me, and anything involving sex is just downright disgusting. I don't think I have any previous trauma? I've always been a little reserved socially but this is a whole new level. I have no idea what's wrong with me, it's only getting worse.