Trouble Getting it Up…how often?

How frequently are you and your partner unable to have sex because of inability to get an erecting? Our scenario, we’ve been together 10 years. He’s 7 years older than me. He’s in his early 40s and I in my later 30s. Since day one, our sex life has been a struggle. It took us nearly 3 months to have sex due to his impotence. We worked through and were regularly having second without trouble. Got married, almost a year later got pregnant and then it started up again. He wasn’t able to have sex the entire pregnancy. We had sex successfully when our baby was 15 months old. We got pregnant and had sex one more time before he wasn’t able again. Then we didn’t have sex again until our 2nd was 2 and some change. We had sex a bunch, got pregnant in a month and then nothing. Literally had sex 2 more times in the next 2 years. My husband went through depression during that and I was right there with him. Last fall we finally started having sex again, sometimes 1-2 times a month, other times 10 times a month. Well, we ended up pregnant again in March. Had sex 2 times since and now back to impotence. I’ve tried being patient, not saying anything, talking dirty, putting on sexy stuff I know he likes, and even suggested professional help(which he was not happy about). This is my only sexual relationship I’ve ever been in where my partner has had any trouble getting aroused. Is this normal? What can I do to help? I’m sexually frustrated beyond belief and it’s wearing on my self esteem that maybe it’s me. I’ve not really gained weight(other than a little belly during pregnancy) or anything that I think would make a difference.

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