I think my husband hates me…
Edit*** Before commenting, “This isn’t the conversation to be having over text,” Re-read my post! I don’t understand why some people can’t understand that I said I have tried to have this conversation IN PERSON, but he doesn’t let me get a word in. He starts yelling, attacking my character, and belittling me. We text each other all the time when he’s at work… he’s able to do that at his job. I am only texting him about this issue because I’m able to get my point across and he’s only saying he’s busy because he doesn’t want to talk about it! He’s got an issue with me that has no valid explanation. Therefore, he’s avoiding the conversation because he knows it has something to do with him and not me. He has told me I haven’t done anything wrong, so something is up with him for him to be treating me this way and he doesn’t even have the decency to talk to me about it so we can solve the issue!
Anyways, here’s my original post:
I don’t even know how to explain it, but my husband is a lot to deal with. A LOT. Like, I know for a fact most people wouldn’t have stuck by his side through some of our worst times.. But he’s never just randomly picked fights with me or been mean to me out of nowhere. There is a lot going on in our lives right now, but I can’t pinpoint what has made him start acting like this. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but nothing got solved. Then I tried to tell him how he’s making me feel… that he’s pushing me away.. and if we don’t figure it out and just move past it, that I’m going to build resentment towards him. All I get back is a “whatever, I’m not arguing with you.” I’m not even arguing.. I try to talk to him and he gets loud and cuts me off (solves nothing and just makes me shut down!).. So then I try to text him so I can get my point across and he won’t even talk to me because now I’m able to say what I want to say without being cut off. I’m so frustrated and sad! It’s like I can’t ever do anything right. 😭 We’ve done marriage counseling before, I would like to go back, but he didn’t work enough hours the last quarter so we don’t have insurance at the moment. I’ve asked him, “What have I done wrong to be treated this way.. What did I do to make you want to be mean to me? What is it, so I can fix it?” And he tells me I’ve done nothing wrong. But he’ll still be yelling at me and then he said in a condescending way, “I’m not being mean to you. Do you want me to be mean to you? Because I can be mean.”
Why is he fighting me so hard to make this work??? I texted him and told him that he was giving me a vibe that he didn’t give a shit and it was pushing me away and this is what I got back (mind you, he never tells me he’s working.. he will always text me whenever he’s free.. that’s just another way of him showing me that he doesn’t care.) I know some people might think.. “He’s working, he’s just letting you know that.” But trust me, I KNOW my husband and that is him being an ass.
If he gave a fuck I feel like he would want to work this out. But he’s just attacking me and leaving me to pick the pieces up myself. Idk what to do.. I’m just so sad and needed to vent because I have nobody, obviously 🙄, to talk to about this.
Jaja: he isn’t attacking me in the messages. What he did and said was in person. He’s a very condescending person.. like I said above, some of you wouldn’t take that text in the wrong way.. but I know him and that is just his excuse to not deal with the issue because I have tried to deal with the issue yesterday and it was all bad and it was going nowhere.
Everyone else: you are correct, he is VERYYYY emotionally immature. I appreciate all your comments... Only I know what I’m willing do deal with.. and I know I’m expecting him to change and he’s only going to do it if he wants to, but it hurts because I have this feeling he doesn’t want to change and he’s basically given up on me, but I don’t know what I did wrong or how to fix it if he’s not willing to work with me on it. 😔 its heartbreaking to feel like you’re the only who cares.