High risk pregnancy, but....

I have lupus and end stage renal disease. I am on dialysis 3x a week. I miscarried in May 2015 because the lupus causes me to clot easily & I waited & waited but it took 2 weeks for Walgreens to get me my heparin. I got some while on dialysis, but they said I need it every day. My OB said she's ok with another pregnancy and will give me heparin shots personally until Walgreens gets me mine. My nephrologist wants me to wait until after I get a kidney transplant. 
My dilemma is the waiting.. I want nothing more than to raise a child. It's all I've wante since I had my first nephew at 12. I am terrified that if I wait until I get a new kidney, my lupus will attack both the baby and the transplanted kidney. To lose another baby would be devastating, but to lose both would be debilitating. My doctors are ready this time.. We already know which meds I will switch to, I will do dialysis 4-5 days a week, and will immediately get heparin shots.. There's just the worry of another miscarriage stopping me.. It terrifies me.. It consumes me on bad days..