Why are women deemed “insecure” because of this?

Question

I want to debate this subject because I’ve seen so many women instantly throw around the insecure and toxic word. Honestly I find it so ridiculous. Why do some women call others insecure for not wanting their man to be looking at other women? (What I mean by this is following naked models/twerking videos on social media, saving them and having their camera filled with explicit content. NOT FINDING SOMEONE ATTRACTIVE IN PERSON! Just to make that clear to anyone) I personally don’t think anyone should just be told to shut and up and accept something if they aren’t comfortable with that being apart of their relationship. I don’t do this with my man but I don’t particularly like it either, but I think it should be 100% acceptable for a woman to make it a boundary for their personal relationship and if their partner doesn’t like it to go find someone else that will tolerate it. It’s not toxic, everyone’s different in their relationship and has their own boundaries.
Extra: I don’t mean watching porn either! As long as it’s not saved and not following etc…

Answer

I know my husband loves me. I also know that he has eyes. As long as he isn’t breaking his neck staring/looking like a perve, I’m cool. I have eyes & find other men attractive as well. It’s all about respect.

Answer

Women always come on here and comment how insecure someone is for posting something like “I caught my man gawking at a woman in public today”. It makes me wonder how often those women who comment those things have been gawked at by strange men in public. If you’re an above average looking woman who gets stared down by creepy men in public, you know it’s uncomfortable. I would hate to be with a man who makes another woman feel like that. It’s just disrespectful, inconsiderate, and shows a lack of self control. Men are in control of whether or not they stare at a woman regardless of what she’s wearing or what she looks like.

Answer

I guess I think it’s a toxic position because we’re “looking” at people everyday and naturally have opinions about them. If I walk in the grocery store and see someone who I think is attractive the thought just pops into my head, and if my husband sees a girl that he thinks is pretty that’s okay too. It doesn’t mean he wants to walk over and ask her out. You’re allowed to find other people attractive while in a relationship.

Answer

100% agree! Like how some couples are comfortable watching porn and others aren't. What is an ok thing for one couple might not be for another and that's ok. It's whatever works for you personally!

Answer

Idk, I get where you’re coming from I really do. But My personal experience is this is how I felt when I was younger and in a less mature relationship. Now that I’m older and married to my husband I think I would be hardddd pressed to get jealous over something like this.

Answer

What do you mean looking ? Like porn or staring someone in real life ? 
Well in my opinion we are humans it’s a myth you can’t find others attractive in relationships . It’s just not really humanly possible. It dosent mean you want them or want to date them etc.. but it just means you’re a human and it’s like instincts . Don’t forget humans come from apes and back then we weren’t as fancy as we are now . 
But regardless I respect everyone’s opinions

Answer

I think it can be one of two things. Either you absolutely are insecure, or your boyfriend is a piece of garbage and doesn’t give you enough attention. My man loves me and is very attracted to me. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t also think other women are beautiful. Because they are. Anyone can recognize that. Does it change the way he feels about me? No. So I have no reason to have an issue with it. However, if we never had sex and he never made me feel like i’m beautiful, I think it would hurt a lot that he was taking the time to look at other women. But on the other hand sometimes it is purely insecurity and that to me is ridiculously annoying. Men shouldn’t have to never look at another woman again because of your own self worth issues. Because they’re not his issues.

Answer

People throw around the word toxic too much in general .. if it doesn’t fit their version of “normal”. Don’t get me wrong, toxic behavior exists, but the word is way over used in society lately. I agree, everyone has their own boundaries & it’s important to discuss what you’re comfortable with and not in a relationship. There is a line between “control” and “respect”. If you are up front & communicate how you feel there is nothing toxic about that. Everyone is entitled to how they feel. I don’t agree it always has to do with insecurity either. That assumption comes from a lack of understanding in my opinion.

Answer

I think some women realize their man will never stop looking no matter how much they ask so they’re forced to just accept it.Then get mad when other women are upset because they are reminded that they can’t get their own man to quit either. Just my opinion 🙃

Answer

I full heartedly agree

Why are women deemed “insecure” because of this?

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